Transformers: Haunted (Kiriban Prize)

Title: Transformers – Haunted
Pairings: None
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Author's Note: This is PaDiYaFLAME's (long overdue) prize fic for catching my kiriban. She requested a “prank war” between some well known pranksters. TC's along just because I love tormenting him. Looking back at her note, I'm not exactly sure this is what she had in mind. I hope she likes it. There's one segment where I purposely omitted the conversation tags. All four of them have lines (if briefly), and I wanted to see if I could convey who each was clearly without specifically saying, "so-and-so said this." Time conversions – Deca-cycle: approx. 3 weeks. 

Assigning five Decepticons to scout a power plant might, under normal circumstances, seem like overkill. Located near a river, the plant sprawled over a large, otherwise uninhabited stretch of land. Concrete buildings with tall chimneys, storage facilities, stacks, and numerous generators comprised the complex. Paved paths and roads connected everything, surrounded by a huge expanse of chain-link fence. It was a gleaming example of human industrialism. That was, until the Decepticons came and blew it to slag.

The humans had been evacuated a solar cycle earlier, during a strafing run (whose sole purpose had been to create an unsafe environment for the organics). To hide their true objective, several other power plants across the continent had also been targeted in separate attacks. Now, during the planet's night cycle, they were back, their mission to determine if the facilities remained operational enough to provide some relatively unguarded power. Three Seekers and two Cassettes were more than capable of that task.

Shortly after arriving, Starscream announced he had more important things to attend to. And left.

That left two Seekers and two Cassettes. Still, the four were perfectly capable of carrying out their mission. Frenzy and Rumble infiltrated the buildings, their smaller frames fitting easily inside. Thundercracker and Skywarp patrolled outside. The Aerialbots had been spotted nearby, so the Seekers were on hand in case their Autobot counterparts arrived. Their need for stealth forced the two to remain earthbound. Even humans would notice thrusters against a clear night sky like this one.

No part of the plan involved them standing, in the open, arguing.

“You idiotic, brainless–” Frenzy began.

“– worthless, scrap-headed –” Rumble cut in.

“– piece of slag! Look what you did!” Frenzy finished, jabbing a finger at the oil covering almost the entirety of Rumble's and his chassis.

“You two started it! I was just getting even for those little speakers you put everywhere. I chased those all over the place!” Skywarp loomed over the smaller Decepticons, taking full advantage of the height difference. He didn't have many opportunities to loom, and the few chances he did get, he used as best he could.

His audience ignored the posturing. The Cassettes exchanged glances, then snickered. Frenzy said, “You gotta admit, that was funny.”

“Oh, yeah.” Rumble nodded, smirking.

“Sorry to interrupt this fascinating conversation, but has anyone determined if this place is still a viable source of energy?” Thundercracker cut in, arms crossed. “You know, that's why we're here? Megatron's orders, and all?”

“Hey,” Rumble protested, “we were following orders, until purple, black and stupid here decided to seal the door behind us. Then, it was time to get even.”

“We had shoot our way out,” Frenzy said.

“I didn't seal the door!”

The Cassettes shook their heads in unison. Rumble pointed between his brother and himself. “We didn't seal ourselves in.”

As one, the three arguing mechs turned to Thundercracker.

“Don't look at me.” The blue Seeker waved a dismissive hand at them. He continued scanning the skies. One of them needed to stay on guard. At least the nearby river covered the abundant noise the trio was making.

He bit back a sigh. Had Starscream stayed, more work would actually get done. The Cassettes didn't particularly respect the Air Commander, but Skywarp did. Enough, at least, to stay somewhat on task when he was present. Without the teleporter's antics, the two brothers would stay more or less focused. As it was, they seemed more interested in their own bickering than listening to Thundercracker.

“Wait,” Skywarp said, holding up a finger, “if I didn't seal the door, and we know TC is too boring to–”

“Thanks.”

“– and I'm pretty sure you didn't seal yourselves in, then who did?”

“I'm still going with the obvious, and saying it was you,” Frenzy said.

“But it wasn't.” Skywarp opened his mouth to continue, then snapped it shut again. He glanced around hurriedly, then whispered, “Maybe it was … ghosts!”

Thundercracker shuttered his optics, wings slumped. The Cassette brothers burst into laughter.

“You were right,” Frenzy said, nudging his brother, “purple, black and stupid.”

“'Warp, there's no such thing as ghosts. I can't believe…” Thundercracker held his hands apart in exasperation and let the statement fade, unable to continue that train of thought.

“Not on Cybertron, but we're on Earth. And the humans have all kinds of stories about ghosts. They even have television shows. You have to have seen them. Why would they have all that, if they weren't real?”

“I'll answer that one,” Rumble replied, pretending to buff some dust from his arm and succeeding only in flinging oil around. “They're organics. In other words, stupid.”

“They have books and all kinds of proof, though. Scientist have done studies. Ghosts are real.”

Thundercracker covered his optics. “'Warp–”

“Ghost!” Frenzy shrieked, clutching his brother's arm and pointing into the shadows.

Skywarp screamed. He spun around, moving too quickly for his feet and unbalancing himself. Stumbling, he fell against his trine mate. Confused, Thundercracker alternated his gaze between his terrified wing mate and the spot Frenzy indicated. Nothing was there.

The Cassettes collapsed in laughter.

“Oh, funny. Ha ha.” Skywarp picked himself up, untangling himself from his trine mate. “You two are – frag! Ghost!” He fell backward against Thundercracker again.

“Really?” Rumble asked.

“We ain't falling for our own trick,” Frenzy said.

Thundercracker shoved his trine brother away. He shook his head, grimacing.

“I'm not joking! Something just moved back there!”

“'Warp, just … stop.”

“TC, I'm serious. And will you two stop laughing at me!”

“You're worse than a fleshy!” Rumble said, cackling so hard his words were barely decipherable.

“Yeah, at least they … uh, wait. Did anyone just see that?” Frenzy abruptly quit laughing. He stared hard into the shadows.

“I'm nothing like a fleshy!”

“Yer just as soft in the head as them!”

“Hey, bro…?”

“Can we please get back to our mission?”

“My head's plenty hard!”

“I won't argue that.”

“Rumble…?”

“No, not like that! You know what I meant.”

“No one knows what you mean.”

“Rumble, you aft-faced, rust-geared, slag-filled, Dinobot-loving Autobot! I'm talking to you!”

Rumble, Skywarp and Thundercracker turned to Frenzy. The latter alternated between glaring at them and shooting apprehensive glances back into the darkness.

“Something wrong, bro?” Rumble asked.

“Did anyone else just see that thing zip past between those buildings?” Frenzy pointed at a narrow path, nestled between two structures. A road and a few distant lights were visible on the far side.

“Okay,” Thundercracker said, holding up his hands for their attention, “as of now, that joke is officially not funny. Actually, it wasn't funny long before now. Let's just stop.”

“As hard as it may be to believe this, I'm not joking.” Frenzy kept his optics trained on the empty path. Rumble moved up beside his brother, followed closely by Skywarp. While the Seeker stared ahead, the Cassette was more interested in his counterpart.

“You're right. I don't believe that,” the blue Seeker countered.

“I ain't messing with you, really,” Frenzy said, his vocals in a rare serious tone. As he spoke, his gaze alternated between Thundercracker and his brother. Rumble snorted, shaking his head. Frenzy held his arms out. “I ain't!”

“It's the ghost!” Skywarp said, backing away from the buildings, optics wide.

“You should be thankful Starscream left. He'd have shot you by now,” Thundercracker muttered. Turning to leave, he said, “Enough. Time to get back … to … okay, who moved those?”

Several structures away, the humans had stacked several large (for humans) boxes against a wall. However, instead of a neat pile, now three of them were in a line across the street. The Cassettes spun around as one. Skywarp stared at the crates in question, open-mouthed.

“Um,” Frenzy said.

“Huh,” Rumble added.

“Thank you. That's helpful,” Thundercracker growled at the Cassettes. He spared a glance at the panic-stricken expression on his trine mate's face. Discounting that possibility, he addressed to the two brothers. “Stop playing around. It's not funny.”

Rumble and Frenzy exchanged bewildered looks. Frenzy held his arms wide, shrugging. His brother returned the gesture. They pointed at the boxes and whispered urgently amidst each other. Thundercracker sighed through his vents. He narrowed his optics at the troublemakers.

They turned back to him, optics wide and face plates clear of any visible mischief. Rumble stammered, “We didn't move 'em. Promise, we didn't do that.”

The blue Seeker considered them for a moment, two fingers tapping a slow beat against his leg. He cursed softly. “I'm calling Starscream. Something's weird here, and I'm sick of dealing with it.”

Frenzy opened his mouth, then shut it, shooting a quick glance at his brother. Rumble rubbed the back of his neck, wincing.

Thundercracker opened a private comm channel with his trine leader. Static flooded his comm. “What the slag is going on around here?”

“Um, yeah, okay, we did do that.” Rumble shrugged, holding his arms wide.

“You did what …?”

“We, y'know, blocked the comms.”

“And why would you do that?”

“So 'Warp wouldn't be able to comm you, of course.” Rumble shrugged again, a forced smile across his face.

Frenzy nodded, matching his brother's expression. “Yeah, where's the fun if he calls you for help?”

Thundercracker crossed his arms, fingers clenching tightly. “What if the Autobots had attacked? Or what if we needed to contact the Nemesis? Did you think of that?”

“It's okay! The jamming device is over there, just inside that building.” Rumble pointed towards the main building. Its door hung open, lopsided, damaged from when the Cassettes had shot their way out earlier.

“It's no problem!” Frenzy agreed.

“Fine, whatever,” Thundercracker said, waving them off. Not caring if the others followed, he strode off to find the jamming device. He briefly considered taking flight, but they were under orders to remain discreet. Until he could prove that the brothers were causing the odd occurrences (or, on the very slight chance they weren't), he would continue acting as if there might be enemies here. Besides, there was the very real chance of an Aerialbot patrol detecting them. He kept his audios at maximum acuity, but the nearby river limited their usefulness. The interference from the damaged reactors made his sensors unreliable, at best.

They moved forward; Thundercracker leading, Skywarp uncomfortably close at his heels and the two brothers bringing up the rear. The teleporter craned his head side to side, optics scanning every dark corner. As they reached the building, Thundercracker bent low, peering through the entrance. A main desk dominated the reception area, with hallways branching off to either side and a doorway behind it. He saw no evidence of any Cybertronian devices.

He turned around, glaring at the two brothers.

“What?” Rumble asked. He gestured at the entrance. “It's right inside.”

Frenzy stepped forward, opening the door. “Yeah, it's right her– uh …” He paused. The Cassette glanced around the tiled floor. Grabbing the door, he peeked behind it. “Problem. It's gone.”

Rumble hurried in behind his brother. He spun in a complete circle, scanning the room. Turning abruptly, he shoved Frenzy with enough force that the other Cassette stumbled. “What did you do with it?”

“Nothing! You were the last one out!” Frenzy pushed back.

Rumble, ready for the attack, grabbed his brother's shoulders. The two struggled, pushing and cursing, an occasional kick thrown in. Thundercracker glowered at the two. How angry would Megatron be if he just left? But then he'd have an annoyed Soundwave to deal with as well. The tape deck would not approve of him abandoning the Cassettes, no matter how much they deserved it. Oh, and Starscream too. The Air Commander would get punished regardless for leaving, but if they didn't complete their mission, his punishment would be even more severe. And he'd (eventually, once he recovered) take out his anger on his trine mates.

What was worse, three furious superior officers or two infuriating Cassette brothers?

An engine sputtered to life behind them.

The four Decepticons froze. The rumbling noise echoed around them. Fight forgotten, the Cassettes peered out into the darkness. Skywarp, spinning around and stumbling backwards into the building, raised his arm-mounted gun and jerked his weapon back and forth, searching for a target. Thundercracker paused, still kneeling near the entrance.

He'd been watching the brothers when the engine ignited. They hadn't triggered any switches. And the comms were still jammed. Even they, mischievous minions of Soundwave himself, couldn't have remotely started it like that. Not now. That left one possibility.

They weren't alone.

With slow, deliberate movements, the blue Seeker stood and turned around. His weapons hummed to life. Unable to detect anything with his optics, he focused on his audios. He analyzed the echoes, shifting through the varying magnitudes, finding the noise's origin. Focusing on one building, he raised his firearm, optics narrowed.

A two-seated, short range vehicle rumbled from behind the structure. The human-made cart had no windows or doors, giving them a clear view of the driver. Or lack thereof.

The cart drove itself.

On Cybertron, seeing a vehicle without an operator was expected. But here, on a planet filled with organics, seeing one of their machines running itself was unnerving. The four Decepticons gaped as the comparatively tiny vehicle sputtered and rumbled away, disappearing out of view behind another building. A few moments later, the engine cut off.

Thundercracker turned to the others. “You all just stood here? Why didn't anyone investigate that?”

“I didn't see you rush off either,” Rumble pointed out.

The blue Seeker grimaced. He'd been busy trying to formulate a rational explanation for the mounting number of odd occurrences. He'd failed, badly. There had to be logical reason for this.

“It's the ghost,” Skywarp whispered.

Skywarp never cared for logic.

“Shut up, 'Warp. There's no such thing as ghosts,” Thundercracker said with a glare. “Here's the plan: I'll investigate that thing.” He pointed toward the last known location of the cart. “'Warp, you stay on watch. No, not for ghosts. Autobots. Or humans. You two, split up and find that jamming device.”

The protests were loud and immediate.

“Splitting up? Really?” Frenzy asked.

“Have you seen any of the fleshies' horror movies? Bad idea, Wings,” Rumble spoke over his brother.

“I can keep lookout just as well next to you,” Skywarp added.

Thundercracker stared at them, considering the various comments he could say; logical arguments, threats, insults, a whole plethora of options flashed through his processor. Millennia in Starscream's presence had familiarized him with some very colorful language. Clenching his fists, he settled for, “Whatever.”

They – the other three followed Thundercracker to investigate the cart – found the small vehicle butted against the building's posterior wall. A quick scan confirmed its terrestrial origins, and he could find no remote control devices attached. The keys hung from the ignition.

“See? Keys. Perfectly normal car.” Thundercracker nodded in satisfaction.

Frenzy pointed to the floor of the vehicle. “See? Gas petal. Perfectly abnormal car, driving itself with nothing pushing that.”

“Oh.” The blue Seeker sighed through his vents. He'd forgotten about that. Ground vehicles were so cumbersome.

“It's the–” Skywarp said.

“Don't say it,” Thundercracker interrupted, a finger held up in warning. He glanced over the cart. There was a logical, non-ghost related, explanation here. He knew it.

“This is fun and all,” Sideswipe said, his vocals low, “but I'm really wishing for some action. I think my jet judo skills are starting to rust.” He casually tossed a brick from hand to hand.

“I'm all for a good round of judo, especially with two targets so handy,” his twin, Sunstreaker, replied, nodding towards the distant Seekers. The two Lamborghini brothers crouched behind a nearby building, keeping the Decepticons in sight. “But Prime ordered us to wait until the others get here. And I've had,” he paused and did a silent calculation, “fifteen too many of Prowl's speeches this deca-cycle. One more and I may suffer permanent stasis lock. By choice.”

“Only fifteen? I thought we'd gotten more than that.”

“I'm not counting when we gave Grimlock that drippy energon cube. Prowl couldn't prove anything.” Sunstreaker snickered, remembering the volatile Dinobot's tantrum over his energon continually spilling down his front. No, no one could prove the twins' involvement. That technicality didn't spare them from 'tantrum cleanup duty.'

“We don't need the others,” Sideswipe said. “The way I see it, we outnumber them.” He pointed at their distant enemies. “I see one Decepticon patrol. And we're two, highly qualified, skilled and aft-kicking warriors. Two against one. We win.”

His twin smirked, not arguing his logic. “Good point. Still, Optimus did say…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Still fiddling with the brick, Sideswipe gazed thoughtfully at the Decepticons. “So, any thoughts on what to do next?”

“I was thinking the old 'slamming open doors shut' trick. That building's got bay doors in the back. We could sneak out easy before those idiots got to it.”

“Cliché, don't you think?”

“It's ghost stories. Everything's cliché.” Sunstreaker shrugged.

“They gonna fall for that?”

“They fell for the 'brick on the gas petal' trick,” Sunstreaker said, pointing at the brick his twin still held. “Why not slamming doors?”

“Okay.” Sideswipe nodded. “But I hope we get a few good swings in when the others get here. I just know our target dummies are gonna show typical Decepticon courage and run away.”

Sunstreaker turned to his twin with a grin. “They just can't handle how awesome we are.”